An evening with „me“

I’m a reasonable person, I know what life is, I’ve been in this world long enough, haven’t I? Only, tonight, today is once again an evening „like that“ where such thoughts are in my head, thoughts of the past time. Memories of childhood and especially of adolescence. Carefree, full of dreams and joie de vivre. I am currently watching and listening to music videos from that time, but also those from ten years ago, by bands and artists from home. Melancholy and somehow a feeling of the all too fast passing of time in me. A special kind of melancholy spreads in me, sad, but also satisfied, smiles and tears alternate, just as it went up and down, highs and lows, births, weddings and deaths, victories and defeats, everything, there until now, until today. At that time, in my youth, all of this was still far away, not experienced, the experiences not made in me. At that time, I think everything was still open, not yet written, dreams, wonderful dreams, some of which, I have, to smile at the thought, also came true. I’ve learned a lot, in the course, of my life, but I still haven’t really understood a lot. Today I think, cry, and laugh at the feelings, I feel like a child who doesn’t know whether to be happy or angry. Tonight, there is longing in my head again and dreaming up and down, as was the trend almost fifty years ago. I take a deep breath, take another sip of wine, I see and hear how the Bellamy Brothers with the song: I Need More of You …. on a stage, performing in front of an audience, long, has it been … I Wann`a Kiss You all Over, from the group Exile, follows … wonderful, sweet youth it goes through my head and at the same time I know very deeply that not everything was wonderful and easy, only I did in the course learned over time that it is better, so to speak, to only keep the good and beautiful things and call them up on such evenings. When You Are in Love with A Beautiful Women … Dr. Hook …. I’ll have another sip of wine and then I’ll go to sleep, tomorrow is another day, everyday life and work, the process, the routine, my life today, forty years later, after this wonderful, carefree youth. © ewald apperle

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